Prayers for you my friends in Egypt,

As most of the world knows by now, Egypt is one of the countries going through civil unrest and upheaval right now.

They say a brutal beating and Facebook, led to Egyptian protests

Robert Fisk, a keen observer of Egypt and its affairs has written an insightful, balanced and informed article on Egypt's day of reckoning

There are solidarity protests and demos all over the US, in UK, Rome and Germany that I have heard of.

A large number of Egyptians are standing up, for their voices and grievances to be heard. There have been sporadic protests each year, isolated incidents, but never on this scale and as sustained as this year.

SMS, Internet, Local TV channels, radio channels have all been shut down. Cell phone coverage is minimal. A Statement from Vodafone, Egypt says "All mobile operators in Egypt have been instructed to suspend services in selected areas. Under Egyptian legislation the authorities have the right to issue such an order and we are obliged to comply with it. The Egyptian authorities will be clarifying the situation in due course."

We are all Khaled Said is a group created on facebook, that I would recommend joining. They are giving the most accurate updates in English that I know of, online.

Not being in Egypt at this time is scarier for me, than if I had been there during these protests. I worry. I worry for my friends. My expat friends, my expat friends married to Egyptians, my Egyptian friends, my students in Egypt, Yemen and Lebanon. Most of them have assured me that they are staying home, especially those with little children, so that they may not be in immediate physical danger.

These are friends I can call up once phone services are back or who will email me when the internet is up and running. But what about all the other people? People I met daily while I lived in Egypt. Someone from the office will give me news of all the office drivers who have ferried me across the city at some time or the other, acted as my translator or interlocutor.

But what about those makwagi boys who brought me my laundry, the grocer boys who came home with deliveries, the lady who squatted on the corner - who could always be trusted to have a supply of limoon and nya nya (lemon & mint), the eish sellers whom I never bought baladi bread from, but whom I always saw as I passed by.

There are so many other people like this in Egypt, that I may not have had a conversation with ever, but who were a part of my life there. I worry for them too.

And all I can do other than worry, is pray for their safety. So I pray for them to be safe, I pray for a quick, peaceful and suitable resolution, I pray for Egypt. That is all I can do, for now. . .

How Living in Egypt Changed My Life

I wrote this article almost a year ago and it was published in the Oasis, but for some reason, I missed out on posting it on my blog. So here it is.

How Living in Egypt, Changed My Life

- Karishma Pais (Kim)

Egypt has been here for many Millennia before you and will be here for many Millennia after you, hence do not expect Egypt to adapt to you, but you will have to adapt to Egypt.

At times, living in Egypt can be really challenging: like, when a plumber is coming in for the 6^th time to do the same job that he hasn’t done properly the last 5 times and may not do properly the next 10 times, when you are stuck in traffic for over 15 minutes, because someone wants to come in the wrong way on a one-way street, when you are kept waiting indefinitely at meetings for people who haven’t arrived. Most of us have faced these problems and more and find a lot of them to be unique to Egypt. But if we try to look at the positive aspects of a work/study stint, we just might be able to balance the scale a bit.

What has living in Egypt taught me and others in the same felucca as me?

Patience is a Virtue: In these days of “Instant Gratification”, in most countries around the world, it is easy to forget how complicated it actually is, to get so many things that we take for granted. In Egypt, taking time to get things done has been perfected to an art form. Except when driving, from Point A to Point B. In all other cases, how long something will take to be achieved, is all in God’s hands.

Pick your Battles Wisely: There are some battles that just cannot be won. Like the one against dust. Choose which ones are worth the fight and which ones are just going to leave you more stressed with no change in outcome. Only focus on the first and ignore the second category or work around it. This is essential for your sanity, blood pressure and health. (Tip: Karkade tea is supposed to be good for controlling blood pressure)

Sometimes, it is better to rely on yourself: Although all kinds of help and services are easily available in Egypt, sometimes the quality isn’t as great as you may be used to.  No amount of meticulous explanations and supervision may help in getting things right, in these cases it is better to do it yourself. Some things may seem important and essential to you, but not to the people around you. Do it yourself. For e.g.: in some parts of Maadi it is essential for your safety to ground the electric mains, so you do not suffer from exploding light bulbs. If your landlord isn’t willing to bear the expense, do it yourself or shift to another house (which comes with another set of complications.  So consider your options carefully)

Sometimes, it is better to cut your losses and move on: If things are just too much to put up with, it is better to leave. A friend found that her house flooded every Sunday when the people above drained their terrace swimming pool and the building pipes couldn’t take the pressure. No amount of reasoning or pleading would get them to release the water from the pool gradually. For the sake of her furniture and the family’s health, they needed to move. At some point, you may hire someone to get some work done for you (carpenter/plumber), but as time passes you may realize that they just aren’t doing the job the way you want it done or just not doing the job at all. While you may have paid an advance to this person, and may not be able to get back any of it, it may still be better, to just find someone else.

Its Just Money: At times you may feel like you are being grossly overcharged for food, products or services, but if this is what makes you happier, indulge, as long as you balance it out somewhere else in your budget. If a bag of imported chocolate is twice the price of Galaxy chocolate, but you just have to have your Reeces Peanut butter cups, then indulge. If you have found the perfect hairdresser, but she charges 3 times as much as the woman around the corner, but the perfect hair-do will boost your self-esteem, confidence and overall mood, indulge. But remember, nothing is worth getting into debt over.

Keep your Eyes Open:  For photo opportunities, for areas where you can help bring a positive change, for opportunities to help or learn, for people who just want your money. Be aware of your surroundings. Egypt is a country full of surprises, you never know what you may find around the corner.

Benefit of the Doubt & Letting Go: Sometimes it may feel like the whole country is out to get you. Give people the benefit of the doubt; it will leave you in a better frame of mind. The only people, who get hurt when you are stressed or angry, are your family and closest friends. So give people and situations the benefit of the doubt and sometimes you will find it is better to just let go, instead of dwelling on particular incidents.

Living in a Bubble: This is the most effective advice I heard from some friends who have been in Egypt much longer than me. Living in a bubble, need not mean something as drastic as living in a gated expat oriented community in the suburbs and never leaving the premises, except to go to the airport or to try another golf course for a change. A bubble is more about surrounding yourself with the things that you like, things and people that keep you positive, things that do not upset your inner balance whether emotional, spiritual, mental or physical. The only downside of living in a bubble is that you may miss out on a lot of interesting experiences, so do give new things a try.

The best advice I could give anyone in any country in the world is to recognize your bubble. Then, treat your bubble as your center of equilibrium. Step out of it occasionally and you may find your bubble growing larger gradually, over time. Step out of it frequently, to have a more enriching life experience, but know that you have the bubble to retreat into when necessary.

Karishma Pais (Kim) consults on HR projects, delivers intercultural training at the CSA, counsels new and experienced expats, writes for several magazines – online and offline. She runs whazzupcairo@yahoogroups.com and whazzupcairo@googlegroups.com among other activities. Her Social Commentary and blog about life in Egypt can be read at http://whazzupegypt.blogspot.com

Obama's Speech in Cairo

I wanted to write about it the moment I started to hear him speak, but life has an irritating habit of getting in the way. What is normal after such intereference by life, is that I shelve the idea. But this particular event is just too important to be lightly tossed aside in my "expired" folder.

The fact that a US President would be visiting a "Muslim Majority" Country before Israel, was in itself a huge departure in recent practice. There was speculation as to where he would speak from. Options ranged from Al Azhar Mosque (which I personally think would have been an excellent, yet impractical location) to Sharm el Sheikh. He settled on Cairo University.

The whole city of Cairo virtually came to a standstill on June 4th. Rumors abounded of 10,000+ snipers, 20,000 troops coming in on their own helicopters from the US and other such fantastic numbers were bandied about.

Passes to the event were carefully distributed by the American Embassy from what I gathered, to ensure an appropriate balance of profiles. 15 students from each major university were invited.

The Government declared a holiday for all its offices. A lot of Universities postponed exams to cope with this extra holiday. A number of private companies too decided to give employees the day off, fearing that they may be stuck in one of the road clearance drives. People who had parked their cars in certain areas along the route, were told to remove them the day before the President was due to arrive. (Now if we can only get similar celebrities to visit different parts of Cairo each day, we may be able to get those broken down heaps that masquerade as cars, that take up precious parking space to get towed away - How's that as a long term solution to Cairo's parking woes?)

But I digress. Coming back to the speech.

It was absolutely brilliant. There was no fault that an unvested interest could find in that speech except perhaps for him mis-pronouncing hijab and Al Azhar. But given the content and message, those are errors that can be easily overlooked.

The greatest strength of his speech was that he identified with his audience on a personal level. Compared to his predecessor whose speech writers made assume a superior and supercillious tone, Obama came across as "one of us". He drew attention to his Indonesian and Chicago life experiences amongst muslim communities.

He gave them praise where it was due, for their innovations in printing, algebra, architecture and then came to his main point. That he would fight negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they may appear. A statement that was greeted with loud applause, that almost died down with his following sentence "But the same principle should apply to Muslim stereotypes of America" This did not seem to be what the crowd wanted to hear. Until then, Obama had seemed to be a cheerleader for the Muslim world, but this statement showed that he wasn't going to unilaterally support the Muslim world. There was going to have to be some give and take.

Once the audience reconciled themselves to this idea, things improved again.

I will not get into the rest of the content of his speech, as it has been discussed ad nauseum on multiple fora.

It was a wonderful bit of speech writing to include references from the Torah, the Bible and the Quran. When he said "Jerusalem - is a place for all the children of Abraham to mingle peacefully", I had goosebumps and I know many Americans who have made Egypt their home, who were moved to tears by this sentence.

His body language was firm yet conveyed his openness to change. He came across as determined while engaging the public through eye contact and clear speech. Again, notable when compared with the last guy to hold his post.

He changed the terminology from the aggressive posturing of the previous government to one based on mutual understanding and dialogue. Instead of general nonsensical terms like "War on terror", he firmly stated that "America is not at War with Islam"

Another firm departure from previous policy was when he clearly stated "America does not presume to know what is best for everyone" If he can follow through on this and not have American Foreign policy and their idea of Democracy being stuffed down the throats of unwilling citizens of countries that aren't ready for the American idea of Democracy, it will go a long way in building bridges that had seemed burned and irrepairable a year ago.

The speech was transmitted live on Facebook and was texted as sms in English, Arabic, Farsi and Urdu. Thus upholding his campaign strategies of involving the younger generations by utilising media more familiar and accessible to them. It has also been uploaded onto Youtube.


The reaction to his speech by most locals that I know, has been "Let's wait and watch" "We want to see actions, not words" This guy is talking about change in policy, so maybe we can stop suspcecting the littlest sneeze. But to start trusting the Americans, we need to see concrete proof. We need to see steps being taken in the right direction. Words will not be enough.

It is undeniable that the US has a large role to play in World Politics. We can only hope and pray that instead of mindless wars and Nuclear arms races, we can at least have dialogue and hope for a future of peace.

In Obama's Words "All of us share this world for but a brief moment in time. The question is whether we spend that time focused on what pushes us apart, or whether we commit ourselves to an effort – a sustained effort – to find common ground, to focus on the future we seek for our children, and to respect the dignity of all human beings"

Also Published on desicritics.org

Egyptian marriage fatwa causes stir

As you can see, I have a little time to catch up on some newspaper reading for about 24 hours and I am sharing the most interesting of the lot.

From The National Newspaper:
Dar al Iftaa, an authoritative Islamic research institute in Cairo headed by Egypt’s grand mufti, just passed a fatwa condoning a controversial form of marriage called “Misyar”, in which a bride forgoes typical premarital financial commitments from her would-be husband.

There are two sides to this argument. One being that this is a way to legalise prostitution, the other saying that this will allow some of the poorer sections of society who cannot afford the shabka and other financial requirements thrust upon them during a wedding (not living expenses) to still get married (. . . and maybe reduce some of the sexual frustration, which sometimes manifests on the roads)

Read the entire article here:

A friend also forwarded an interesting link that relates to this fatwa.
Misyaar Marriage in Saudi Arabia – What is it and Who would Want It?

Islamic hip hop, or a load of hype?

The article is a bit dated (22 April), but I just got to it and thought that it would interest those who read this blog.

From The BBC.

A satellite channel has launched in Egypt claiming to be the first Islamic MTV.

The studio presenter takes viewers' phone calls and interviews artists in baggy jeans, while music videos are played. . .

. . . 4Shbab aims to promote traditional Islamic values through hip hop, rap and pop music, using new and established artists whose lyrics and visuals address Islamic themes. . . .

What follows in the article; is an interesting snap shot of a debate on the pros and cons of such a channel. An interesting read, for sure.

Galabeyya to become National Dress of Egypt?

Egyptian MP Mustapha al-Gindy wants the Galabeya to be recognised as Egypt's National Dress.

"In Egypt, if you wear a galabeyya, you might find yourself barred from 70% of public places. This is both unconstitutional and inhuman."

. . . What he calls "the war against the galabeyya" has resulted in other costumes coming to prominence and he believes threatening the national identity. . .

. . . And he wants Egyptians to wear their own national galabeyya with pride when they travel abroad, instead of adopting the local variations.

While some MPs wear the galabeyya in the Majlis or parliament, Mr Gindy says you will only see Saudi tourists in their national dress at places such as the opera house or up-market hotels. . .

Read the Entire article on BBC.

It will be interesting to see how he plans to go about getting the Galabeyya its National Status and even more interesting to see what happens once it gets national status.

I know of restaurants that have a No-Galabeyya policy and deny entry to those males dressed in this ankle length gown. (Most of the restaurants that have this policy also serve alcohol and also try to restrict entry to veiled women - purportedly to not offend the religious sentiments of those who are seen as being more religious - simply by virtue of their clothing)

Would they be able to deny entry to those clad in galabeyyas, once it is declared the national dress?

In my home country India, men wearing the traditional dress of a dhothi, a lungi, a mundu, or sometimes even kurta pyjama are denied entry into certain settings, even though these items of clothing are worn by members of parliament when they go about their political meetings. Women's Traditional dresses, on the other hand, are still commonly worn and have never been used as an excuse for denying them entry anywhere.

It will be interesting to see how this progresses.

Swine Flu Quarantine for Travellers into Egypt?

There have been some rumors in some parts of the world about Travelers into Egypt being Quarantined. Today I received the same question from 3 different people. Is Egypt quarantining Air travelers and for how long? Since this may be a question that others would like an answer to as well, I am posting it on my blog.

The question of quarantine in Egypt may have arisen, from articles such as this one.

1. From My Personal Experience - 4 May 09:
I flew back to Egypt on the 4th of May from Lebanon. There were about 40 women in masks and gloves standing at the entry into the terminal building when we got off the shuttle bus. They had clipboards in hand. From the bus it looked to us like the terminal was full and it would take forever to complete Immigration. But it was just these women standing around that gave the impression of a huge crowd.

All the passengers walked past these women and went straight to the Immigration desks. The Women did not stop anyone.

The Immigration officials were wearing latex gloves and that was the extent of the precautions that we saw at the Cairo airport.

2. My Husbands Experience - 10 May 09:
My Husband returned from Istanbul, Turkey today. He said that there was a similar crowd of masked women at the terminal building. They seemed to have paired themselves in two's and were asking for passenger passports. My husband handed over his passport to them. The two women did a lot of giggling as they flipped through his passport and then they let him move on to Immigration. He did not fathom what they were looking for. I sincerely hope that they were perhaps looking for proof that the passenger had not passed through Mexico or other badly affected countries, recently.

The Immigration officials were no longer wearing latex gloves.

We both have Resident Visas for Cairo and have been living here for almost 3 years. But we frequently travel in and out of the country.

3. I heard from someone who arrived on the 8th of May 09, that he was asked to fill a form with Name, Address in Egypt and Nationality. Thermometer strips were then used (and reused) to take the passengers temperatures before letting them through.

I have not yet heard of any person being quarantined for the virus, so I would say that it is still safe to travel into Cairo without fear of enforced bed rest at a hospital.

I will keep you informed if any new information comes up that is significant to this issue.

Added on 13 May 09:
International SOS reports:
The government has ordered a psychiatric hospital near Cairo International Airport (CAI) to be converted into a quarantine centre for passengers suspected of infection.

Swine Flu and its Effects in Egypt

Fact : Swine Flu is now being called Influenza A (H1N1)

Fact : “We don’t see any evidence that anyone is getting infected from pigs,” said Dr. Keiji Fukuda, the World Health Organization’s assistant director general. “This appears to be a virus which is moving from person to person.”

Fact : Pork has disappeared off the menu's of the few restaurants in Cairo that did serve it.

Fact : There were about 40 masked (not veiled, but masked) women to receive us at the entry from the shuttle bus to the actual terminal in Cairo Airport, when we landed 3 days ago, all holding very fancy looking official clipboards. Every single passenger just walked past them and they did not stop a single person.

Fact : The immigration Officials at Cairo airport are all wearing Latex Gloves.

Some stories from across the press world on how Swine Flu is being handled in Egypt and reactions.
New York Times
IRIN Middle East
MSNBC
BBC
Yahoo News

Kidnappers seize foreign Tourists in Egypt.

This news is 3 days old. It happened on Monday.

You can read more about it on CNN, BBC or Yahoo News

A lot of blame has been apportioned on Egyptian authorities by the media for not preventing this from happening.

An Egyptian friend who is an avid off-roader helped explain why the government isn't necessarily to blame.

To help illustrate the reasons, take a look at this map.

The kidnapping took place here (in the little red box)



1. Gilf Al Kebeir where the group was kidnapped is in a remote area of South West Egypt and practically in a no mans land between Sudan, Libya and Egypt's borders.
2. As you can see in the map, this is in the middle of the deep desert many days tough ride away from Aswan (the closest city).
3. People who do make this trip are well aware of the dangers of making such a journey where every drop of water and fuel and every grain of food has to be carried with them for all the days journey from Aswan and the return journey and some extra to spare. Often one 4x4 is required just to carry the fuel and another to carry the food and water. Even if just 1 or 2 tourists wish to visit this area, they need to travel together with at least THREE 4x4's for a relatively safe journey.
4. If you look at a map of Africa, there are plenty of straight lines diving the countries (unlike say Europe) and a lot of this continent is arid desert where habitation is impossible. These borders are evident only on a map, but being in the middle of the desert it is easier to cross national borders without even realising it, unlike trying to cross a busy street in Cairo.
5. Given points 2 and 3, it is ridiculous to expect a security presence at these borders.
6. Given point number 5, it is easy for smugglers, outlaws and gangs to cross borders and operate with relative freedom exploiting the vulnerability of tourists to the area. (although they too have to do this in extremely tough conditions)
7. The army/tourist protection sometimes sends an officer with such groups (as anyone who has driven in an official convoy in Egypt from Aswan to Abu Simbel or Sharm to Luxor would know) armed with a basic gun, who would be helpless when faced with gangs with advanced weaponry from Sudan or Libya (where it is relatively easy to come across arms and ammunition)

The government of Egypt cannot practically do anything to patrol the middle of the desert. The only thing they can do is prevent permission and access to these areas, which unfortunatley may be the result of this tragedy as the media keeps hyping up how ineffective the government is. For heavens sake media members (I refuse to call them professionals, as most of their ilk, doesn't qualify to be called that), stop trying to hype up the situation (and increase readership or eyeballs) and try to think of practical solutions instead!

And for those of you who are planning to visit Egypt, don't let this incident scare you off. A large part of this country is much safer than a lot of other places in the world and the government is doing its best to keep most tourist locations safe for tourists.

Exam cheats jailed in Cairo

Seems like Egypt has some of the problems that India does, but at least the guilty get punished unlike India where cases drag on in the courts for ages.

From http://www.iol.co.za/

Cairo - Fourteen Egyptians, including officials and parents, were jailed for up to 15 years on Monday for involvement in leaking secondary school exams in a scandal that has rocked the country.

A court in Menya, 240km south of Cairo, convicted the group for trying in June to cheat the dreaded "thanawiya amma" - Egypt's equivalent of A-levels or SATs - that largely determine a child's future.

The court found the accused guilty of "having organised leaks, which damaged the principle of equality of opportunity between pupils," in the English and maths sections of the exams, a judicial source said.

Ringleader Ezzat Khalil Mansour, head of Menya's Examinations Committee, was jailed for 15 years and sacked.

His friend Ayman Rabie was jailed for 10 years for having bought the exam papers for 300 Egyptian pounds and for subsequently selling them.

Four other accused, including a policeman and a headmaster, were jailed for seven years and fined 5 000 Egyptian pounds. The other accused, including parents who bought the leaked exam papers, were jailed for between three and five years.

Five suspects were acquitted, including the owner of a bookshop whose photocopier was used to copy the exams.

In a country rife with corruption where some 20 percent live below the poverty line, a university education, especially a degree in medicine or engineering, can help to break down rigid class barriers.

When the scandal broke in June, public prosecutor Abdel Meguid Mahmud said the problem was limited to Menya and did not affect the majority of the 800 000 pupils who took the exam nationwide.

That declaration was greeted with scepticism by many parents.

The case has gripped the nation, bringing together state and opposition media in a rare show of unity to demand answers. Columnists have demanded a re-sit, with teachers and academics supporting them.

Ramadan Kareem - Ramadan begun in Egypt

With the appropriate sighting of the moon, yesterday (September 1st) was the first day of Ramadan in Egypt.

This begins the Holy month of fasting for Muslims over the world.

What specifically does it mean to expats in Egypt?

Treat everyone with utmost respect. Lack of nicotine and caffeine to bodies used to consuming them every 5 minutes can lead to extreme crankiness.

What work normally takes a day to be done, will take longer. (yes, than usual)

Offices are working shorter hours.
Expect major traffic jams around 3pm when people start heading home.
Expect near zero traffic at sunset during Iftaar time.

Ramadan is a time to share with the less fortunate. Expect more people lining up for Baksheesh and remember your house help have to be given half their annual bonus at Eid time.

Expect to be invited for at least one iftaar party where you will be treated to a large variety of foods. If you are unlucky enough to not have any Egyptian friends to invite you, make sure you attend at least one iftaar buffet in town this season to be treated to delicacies that aren't prepared during the rest of the year. The buffet at the Marriott is a good option.

Definitely wander around the Khan late at night and soak in the atmosphere, maybe even waiting until Sohour. Try to attend a Sufi Performance at the Wikalat al Ghuri.

There are plenty of special cultural events being hosted in the city, try and attend as many as you can and take full advantage of the shortened work days.

Ramadan in Egypt is a unique experience, enjoy it as much as you can. Who knows where you will be next year :)

With a word, Egyptians leave it all to fate

From the New York Times - International Edition

By Michael Slackman
Published: June 20, 2008

CAIRO: The McDonald's here has golden arches, the same golden arches as anywhere else in the world. The food is prepared the same assembly-line way, too. But there is an invisible, or more precisely, divine, element in bringing that burger to the plate that the uninitiated may not be prepared for.

"Inshallah," or "God willing," the counterman said as he walked off to see about a burger without onions at the McDonald's on the Alexandria Desert road, 30 miles from the center of Cairo.

Egyptians have always been religious, from Pharaonic times to the present. Any guidebook to Egypt alerts tourists to Egyptians' frequent use of inshallah in discussing future events, a signal of their deep faith and belief that all events occur, or don't occur, at God's will. "See you tomorrow," is almost always followed by a smile and, "inshallah."

But there has been inshallah creep, to the extreme. It is now attached to the answer for any question, past, present and future. What's your name, for example, might be answered, "Muhammad, inshallah."

"I say to them, 'You are already Muhammad or you are going to be Muhammad?' " said Attiat el-Abnoudy, a documentary filmmaker in Cairo.

Inshallah has become the linguistic equivalent of the head scarf on women and the prayer bump, the spot where worshipers press their foreheads into the ground during prayers, on men. It has become a public display of piety and fashion, a symbol of faith and the times. Inshallah has become a reflex, a bit of a linguistic tick that has attached itself to nearly every moment, every question, like the word "like" in English. But it is a powerful reference, intended or not.

Political and social commentators here say its frequent use reflects or fuels, or both, the increasing degree to which people have dressed the routine of daily life up with religious accessories. Will the taxi get me to my destination? Will my sandwich come without onions? What's my name? It's always, "God willing."

"Now inshallah is used in a much broader way than 20 years ago," said the Egyptian playwright Aly Salem. "We always used to say inshallah in relation to plans we were going to do in the future. Now it is part of the appearance of piety."

The starting point for inshallah is faith, but just like the increasing popularity of the head scarf and the prayer bump, its new off-the-rack status reflects the rising tide of religion around the region. Observance, if not necessarily piety, is on the rise, as Islam becomes — for many — the cornerstone of identity. That has put the symbols of Islam at the center of culture, and routine.

"Over the past three decades, the role of religion has been expanded in everything in our lives,"' said Ghada Shahbendar, a political activist who studied linguistics at American University in Cairo.

Deference to the divine has become a communal reflex, a compulsive habit, like the incessant honking of Egyptian cabdrivers — even when there are no other cars on the street.

Samer Fathi, 40, has a small kiosk that sells chips and cigarettes and phone cards downtown. He was asked for a 100-unit phone card and responded almost absent-mindedly "inshallah," as he flipped through the stack to find one.

At 19 Ismael Street the elevator door opened.

"Going down?"

"Inshallah," a passenger replied.

As it has become routine, inshallah has also become a kind of convenience, a useful dodge, a bit of theological bobbing-and-weaving to avoid commitment. No need to say no. If it doesn't happen, well, God didn't mean it to happen. Nazly Shahbendar, Ghada's daughter, said for example if she was invited to a party she did not want to attend, she would never say no.

"I'd say inshallah," said Shahbendar who is 24 and anything but a picture of the new religiosity. She is not veiled or shy about talking to men; she smokes in front of her mother.

She also points out that inshallah is not the only religious term to infiltrate the lexicon of routine. The younger Shahbendar, like many people here, have taken to using the Shahada, the Muslim declaration of belief, as a routine greeting. So instead of "How are you? Fine, and you?" she will say to a friend "There is no God but God," to which the friend will complete the statement. "And Muhammad is his prophet."

People now answer the phone that way, too, skipping hello altogether. It would be something like Christians greeting each other with "Christ is risen!" followed by "Christ will come again." Not just on Sundays, but every day.

"We are a very religious people, Egyptians," said Mostafa Said, 25, as he told his friend he hoped, inshallah, to have his car turn indicator fixed by next week. "We believe God is responsible for what happens, even to the car."

But it is not just about faith in the celestial, that has people invoking God. It is also, at least for some, a lack of faith in the earthbound rulers who run the place. People here are tired — of the rising prices and the eroding wages, of the traffic, of the corruption, of the sense that it is every man for himself.

"In this place, when something works, or you want something to work, you thank God, because it's certainly not the government who is going to help you," said Sherif Issa, 48, a taxi driver in Cairo with a nicotine-stained mustache and a fair size belly. "It's because everything is going in the wrong direction — who can we look up to except God?"

That Issa is a Christian is evidence that the use of inshallah is not just a phenomenon of Egypt's Muslims.

"It doesn't matter whether you're a Christian or a Muslim," he said. "I'm going to take you to your house, arriving there in a decent amount of time is already a miracle. Of course I say inshallah!"

Nadim Audi contributed reporting.

Arab women push boundaries gently

From LA Times

Many have become opinion makers and talk openly about sex, politics and other topics.

By Jeffrey Fleishman, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer
June 1, 2008

BEIRUT -- The censors didn't quite know what to do with Lina Khoury's play about sex, rape, menopause and a visit to the gynecologist, but Islamic hard-liners were pretty specific: One wanted to stone the 32-year-old writer; others accused her of being an Israeli agent planting immoral ideas in the Arab world.

Read the rest of the article at LA Times

Egyptian Etiquette for Eating

A good article on the Etiquette and Social Customs surrounding food and eating in Egypt from the Wall Street Journal.

The article (appended below) is quite in line with my own experiences in this country.

When I first had Egyptian guests over, I was aghast when they left substantial portions of food on their plate. I thought they did not enjoy the food and it was unappealing to them. Another Egyptian friend explained to me, that leaving food on the plate was a sign that the host had been generous.

In India where I come from, food is served in a semi-buffet kind of system. The dishes are placed in the center and guests serve themselves or the hostess serves them individually while the guest motions whether they would like a little more or if it has been enough. This is completely unlike the Western system of serving plated food to guests.

Think of an Indian meal as a barbeque setting. Serve yourself and eat with your hands - no cutlery. Although the British did leave behind the use of cutlery during the occupation, forks and spoons aren't commonly used except in formal settings. Food is supposed to be more tasty when eaten with the fingers. It eliminates the taste of metal or plastic in your mouth. Plus certain Indian foods like dosas and rotis are not conducive to eating with a knife and fork.

In the Indian scenario, the larger the variety of items on the table the more hospitable you have been. In meat eating families, at least 3 varieties of meat are served at a meal where guests have been invited. Also when guests are invited over. There should be food to spare in the serving dishes.

One is supposed to eat up everything that is put in one's plate. To leave behind large quantities of food on the plate is considered rude towards the hostesses culinary abilities or a sign of bad upbringing. Most Indian children have grown up with the refrain "Eat everything that is put on your plate, do you know how many children are starving in the world and go to sleep without a single square meal?"

Hence the horror at the quantity of food left behind by my Egyptian guests. I was truly worried that even the hint of spices I had used, was too much for them. Fortunately my friend explained that to me.

Most Egyptian guests will bring over some kind of sweet dish, when invited to your house. A large cake, chocolates or pastries. Budget for these arrivals in your dessert plans. It is quite acceptable to offer the sweets that have been brought in by your guests at the dessert table at the same meal.

Another tip I have learned where food is concerned is that the serving of Shai (black tea) signals the end of the evening. So definitely offer your Egyptian guests some shai to end the meal. Not too quickly after dessert - that will imply that you are trying to get rid of them, but after a little time has passed. And if you have been served shai in an Egyptians house, then it is time to politely take your leave once the shai has been drunk.

and as mentioned in the article below, Egyptians are quite forgiving of khwagas (foreigners) who aren't completely aware of their social etiquette, so don't worry too much about being Emily Post :)

Table Manners in Egypt Follow Certain Rules;
Avoid the Evil Eye
May 22, 2008 12:16 p.m.

When it comes to table manners, the devil is in each culture's details. Eating with one's fingers may be considered slovenly in one place, but the norm in another. In Egypt and other parts of the Middle East, looking at a fellow diner's plate is considered to be rude.

Cairo native Amr Ragab explains that when someone stares at another person's food, he or she sends a signal of desire and envy. That act of acknowledging what another person owns can bring bad luck: the antidote is to offer to share. "I'm afraid if I don't give you any," says Mr. Ragab, "I'll get the evil eye."

Amy Riolo

Don't look: Staring at another person's food can bring the "evil eye."

The idea that attention to success can bring about failure is widespread in cultures from South and Central America to Asia and across the Middle East. The sudden misfortune that is said to come with this attention is commonly called the "evil eye." Tourists can often find kitschy amulets shaped like eyeballs and made of blue-and-white glass in Turkey, North Africa, Israel and the Persian Gulf. Their popularity may make the belief seem rather frivolous, but its roots are deep and its influence is still expressed in this detail of Egyptian dining etiquette.

Sometimes, though, it's hard not to look at what someone else has ordered.

"The way I do it, I look but I try not to stare at the plate," Mr. Ragab explains. "I'll look for a second but I won't let my eyes linger. If I get caught I'll say 'Ah, that looks nice!' "

At that point, the offer of food from the plate in question will most likely be extended, and a second, important part of the cultural practice comes into play.

"I know that if he's obliged to give me, I feel obliged to say no a couple of times," Mr. Ragab says. "You refuse it at least once and people even say twice, but you have to eventually take some, otherwise you're saying it's bad, you don't like it."

Amy Riolo, an American food historian who has studied Middle Eastern cuisine and is married to an Egyptian, remembers that it took her a few tries to get the hang of this modest back-and-forth exchange. "I would offer someone something and they would refuse and then I would take it back, but they were waiting for that third offer."

There is one paradox, though: While it is considered impolite to look at another's plate in a restaurant, it is acceptable to do so in the home. This is because the same food is shared and eaten family-style, says Mr. Ragab, so there is no comparison to wealth.

Whether the meal is at home or in a restaurant, never leave a clean plate. When dining as a guest in an Egyptian home, this is an especially important thing to remember. "If there isn't any more food on the table, then the assumption is that they haven't been generous enough," warns David Mack, a former who studied in Egypt before embarking on a 30-year career in the Foreign Service. "They may leave you sitting there while they desperately go to the neighbor's for something else."

A guest signals that he or she is full by leaving a little of each kind of food on the plate.

For the confused traveler, Egyptians thankfully have etiquette on etiquette: "Even though Egyptians have their own etiquette rules," says Ms. Riolo, "they're very gracious about letting foreigners bend them."

Sun, sand, sex and stupidity

I've heard a couple of true confessions myself from women who have got conned by such boy-toy con-men into parting with a lot of cash. I obviously couldn't write about those stories without betraying personal confidences. But these articles have elaborated the issue quite nicely. So heed the warning and just be careful.
Kim

From The Daily Mail

Sun, sand, sex and stupidity: Why thousands of middle-aged women are obsessed with holiday gigolos

. . .Writer Jeannette Belliveau, a self-confessed former "sex tourist" and author of a book called Romance On The Road, says the problem is becoming endemic and that these women are deluding themselves about the dangers such flings present.

"The ultimate risk is death," she says, bluntly. "In the past two years three Western women have been killed for their money by their foreign 'toy boys'."

Some of these women tourists never went home after their holiday. Barbara Scott-Jones, 61, from Leeds fell in love with Jamaica and was building a home on the island when she was found dead earlier this year.

Trouble in paradise: Charlotte Rampling as a sex tourist in the movie Vers Le Sud

Labourer Omar Reid has been charged with her murder.

Police believe Barbara had been having an affair with the 30-year-old and had just ended, or was trying to end, the affair when she was killed.

The number of older women who form long-term relationships with holiday gigolos is growing year on year.

Statistically, a third of all cross-cultural "marriages" end in divorce. . .

. . . The trouble is that for divorced or widowed women in their 40s, 50s and 60s, their male peers in the UK are either very unattractive or are looking to date much younger women.

"In countries such as the Gambia and Kenya, there is both a surplus of men and the fact that women there tend to marry men at least ten years older than themselves, which is the culture. So for 18-year-old and 20-plus men, there is no one to date.

"Poverty is rife. Then, over the past ten years, planeloads of mature single British women have started arriving, their handbags full of cash. They're fit, good-looking men and it didn't take them long to realise that there are rich pickings here.". . .

. . .

Five years on and Sarah Jarvis no longer looks back on her holiday romance with rose-tinted glasses. "I must have spent more than £20,000 on Mohammed," she says. "On my final trip last year, I rang his mobile as usual when I arrived at the airport. There was no reply.

"I drove to the hotel where he worked as a waiter, and stormed into his tiny room. He was in bed with an elderly, white woman - like me. He rang me, sobbing, saying it was all a mistake and he loved me.

"Later I marched up to the woman in the hotel dining room and asked her, very calmly, what she thought she was doing. She looked at me in surprise. 'But he's my boyfriend,' she said. 'We are in love, and I have been flying backwards and forwards from the UK to see him.

"I told her I had, too. She said she had promised Mohammed she would leave her husband and marry him. I said she was a fool."

Sarah then told Mohammed that his lies had been exposed and ended the relationship. "Speaking to some of the hotel staff, I found out Mohammed had at least 40 white girlfriends," she says. "It must have been a real juggling act making sure we didn't all arrive at the same time. Goodness knows how much money he was making out of us all.

"I know people will think: 'How could you be so stupid?' But you have to realise just how seductive it is, if you feel fat, old and ugly, to have a beautiful young man saying he cannot live without you and making love to you as if you were a stunning creature."

But Sarah adds: "More than anything, I want to send out a warning to all the British women planning a holiday romance this summer: don't do it!

"It will cost you thousands of pounds, and you will end up feeling ridiculous and despised. These are practised conmen - they don't think you are beautiful; they laugh at you behind your backs." . . .

Read the Entire Article on The Daily Mail

Also read a similar article in The Sunday Independent

The "Animal" Attraction - Why Do We Love Pets?

My personal love affair with pets began before the moment I was even conceived.

My nana (maternal grandmother, not grandpa in our part of the country) loves animals. In her younger days she nursed peacocks, deer and sundry other birds & animals back to health. The family household always comprised of a couple of cats, dogs, cows, goats, pigeons and various other species including a monkey at one point of time and a rat snake who would regularly appear to eat the pigeon or chicken eggs. All this was obviously long before the government started poking their noses into which species could or could not be allowed in family spaces.

Living a half day bullock-cart ride away from the nearest neighbours (while on the estates) made domesticating animals (for food and otherwise) a necessity.

By the time I came along, nana was pretty much restricting herself to dogs, cats, poultry and dairy animals. In most households, dogs were for guarding houses, cats were meant to keep the mice away. They were always fed a little below satiating point to keep them hungry enough to catch pests and scare away the people who had no business hovering around the gates.

Not in nana's house. Our cats & dogs were always overfed. So the dogs would sleep at the gate when they had to be guarding the compound and the cats would sleep in the attic when they were supposed to be catching mice ! All because she did not have the heart to leave them in the least bit hungry.

Nana's children - my mom, aunts and uncles - all absorbed this instant love for animals and most of her grandchildren were born to it. we were always surrounded by them and our dogs and cats were our friends too.

Even if the rest of the cousins ganged up against one, the dogs and cats would not take sides.

If you needed to cry away from anyone else's view, you could always take one of the dogs for a walk - who would silently lick your hands or cheeks (whichever was in closer proximity to their height)

If you wanted unconditional love - the dogs/cats provided that.

Non judgmental - bingo.

Non questioning - sure.

They know exactly when to come sit in your lap and when to give you an adoring look. As Dee elaborated about Zoey in Love, Grief, Pain, and a Kitten no matter how many times you push them away, they keep coming back to you.

They never judge you for anything - Feeding them late, not getting home in time, being pissed drunk, being lazy, being a few pounds overweight......

They will accompany you anywhere and everywhere where you let them and sometimes even if you don't. Our little munchkin (whom we adopted a couple of days ago) watches cricket with the husband. My husband is absolutely thrilled to have a cricket viewing partner in the same household.

They just keep coming back and give you more love. They insist on following you into the bathroom, but you don't mind since they aren't going to scrutinise your flabby thighs or beer belly. They just want to be around in your presence.

With a pet around you can never feel worthless. Because you are the world to them and they make it very evident to you.

How can you resist adoring eyes like these ?